August 30, 2016
So much for my hopefulness with the latest neurologist. We saw him this morning and he said he had never said I had Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis and that my symptoms weren’t typical. It felt like he had read my chart and decided he wanted nothing to do with me. Anxiety was suggested, which I think is just a cop-out for doctors. They’re quick to suggest anxiety, even though my symptoms aren’t typical for that either. I wonder if psychiatrists ever get upset that all other specialists feel they can diagnose a disease that doesn’t fall under their area of expertise.
I was nervous today. I had a hard time answering questions and making myself clear. I didn’t come off well. I could hardly even tell him my symptoms. The doctor came in and almost immediately stated that he had never diagnosed me, and had merely suggested it. It was just awful. Just another awful appointment and life experience for me to push myself through. Now another awful post appointment period for me to deal with. Another devastating blow to my sense of self. Another period of time for me to wonder what will happen to me. What my life will look like in the future.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome maybe? I don’t like having to be the one to try to diagnose me. When you go in to an appointment with a possible diagnose it hurts the Drs precious little ego, but at the same token no one really cares enough to try to find anything out at is point. I hate all of this. I wish I could just close my eyes and wake up in a new body.