June 18, 2017
I’ve been back at work for 2 weeks now, working 15 hours per week. It’s felt both natural and odd at the same time. It feels normal to be back in an office, in front of a computer like the majority of adults everywhere. I’m comfortable in the building and have no problems asking for the things I need (new chair, light bulbs changed, passwords for the printer, etc.) but at the same moment feel completely separate from the people around me.
I don’t have much in common with my coworkers anymore. My priorities have changed so much and my outlook on life is drastically different than it was before. My career is only a small part of me now, and I hope to keep it that way. I want to do a good job and have my work be something I can respect, but I do not want to bring it home, either physically or emotionally. I do not want to sacrifice my health for a job anymore. I want to remember that, if I need to recover from an illness or injury, I can take a couple weeks off to do so. I do not want to wake up in the morning feeling like death, or fear falling in the street on the way to my car. I don’t want to give all my energy into something that doesn’t matter at the end of the day, and isn’t appreciated or noticed by my superiors.
I don’t have much to say during coffee and lunch breaks, when everyone seems to be bragging about their material possessions or planning a new purchase. I sound like a fool when I mention something I don’t have (and don’t want) to a group that equates success with excess.
I like how low stress my life is and I want to keep it that way.